Confessions of a Senior Pastor: COUNT THE COST!!!

By Pastor Lin on 1/23/2007

I love blogs!  Blogs are fun & I like reading other blogs because you get to learn a lot about what people are REALLY thinking about!

BHCC recently got a myspace & it's been a blast making new friends there.  Check it out & leave us an encouraging message:  www.myspace/blessedhopecc

I also made a myspace.  Learn more about me at www.myspace/pastorlin

I am SO EXCITED about all that God is doing at BHCC.  We are a little over four years old now!  Yeah God!  We've beaten the 60-80% failure rate that most new churches meet before their three years old.  We're still young & yet so sturdy now & growing stronger every day.

The last four years have been some of the most challenging years of my life, that's for sure.  Let me tell you why.

Long ago, before I became a Christian, I always loved having tons of friends!  I often call myself a 'recovering co-dependent.'  HA!  There is nothing I loved more than making people feel good & making people happy!  I always wanted to make people like me & think I got quite good at it for quite awhile!

Then, I became a born-again Christian.  At first, being such a likable person seemed like a big plus in ministry.  At my first church, they used to joke about how they had to stand in line every Sunday to talk to me.  I must admit, I liked it.  I quickly learned that as long as I was 'nice' and agreed with people, they really liked you a lot.

However, as I grew in my relationship with Christ, I began to change.  I discovered that there were many things that my Lord wanted me to do:  One of the main ones was speaking TRUTH IN LOVE!  If there was an injustice happening, He wanted me to be HIS VOICE & speak up.  Ohhh, how I dreaded any kind of confrontation.  I often felt like a scared little girl inside and the last thing I wanted was to make people mad at me or not like me.

My learned behavior from my disfunctional past was to avoid confrontation at all cost.  Walk on eggshells all the time & agree with others as much as humanly possible.  Just try to get everyone to 'get along' at all costs.  It seemed to work well for me in the past.  But wouldn't you know it, that's the first thing God wanted to CHANGE in me.  Uggghhhh, change is so hard!

I still vividly remember my first time of standing up for Jesus.  It was at a congregational meeting at my very first church.  There were angry people who were mad at our senior pastor & saying terrible things about him.  When I stood up, I was shaking from head to toe.  But I did what Jesus wanted me to do.  I stuck up for a man that I know Jesus loved dearly.  But it wasn't without cost.  I made some big enemies that day!

In some ways, it seems like my life has never been the same since that day.  I guess you could call it a 'defining moment' in my life. I went against taking the 'easy' road.  I stood up for the sake of Jesus, knowing full well that I would personally suffer consequences for doing 'the right thing' in Jesus' name.

Jesus warns us to count the cost of following Him.  He tells us that if the world hated Him, and He is in us, then world will hate us too.  Jesus is still being persecuted in the world today all the time.  The Jesus who lives in us.  And just as it was the 'religious' people who persecuted Him then, sadly, it is often still the 'religious' people who persecute the LIVING CHRIST today.

One of the absolute, most difficult parts of my personally following Jesus is the attacks & confrontations that come from seemingly nowhere!  It started for me that day I stood up in church, and it has only continued to increase the more I've become 'sold out' for Christ.

If nothing else, it has only more deeply convinced me in the reality of the Living Christ in the world AND the reality of the realm of spiritual warfare that continues to impact each one of us every day.  The bible tells us that we are in a war!!!  The second you stand up for Jesus, you become a huge target. I would love to challenge every non-believer to simply try taking a stand for Jesus to see the REALITY of this truth He warns us about!

Before becoming a senior pastor, I was well aware of the attacks that senior pastors face on a daily basis.  I had been in ministry for many, many years & seen some incredible, brutal personal attacks on senior pastors.  I've seen MANY pastors leave the ministry being completely beat up & worn out.  I've personally ministered to many such pastors & lay leaders through the years. 

Most people aren't aware of the fact that there is a huge shortage of clergy these days.  Pastors are leaving the ministry in DROVES!  Here is one such ARTICLE.  The expectations of pastors are completely unrealistic.  Pastors are expected to be a CEO, a skilled leader in management, an Evangelist, a high tech computer guru, a marketing expert, and everyone's personal friend & pastor. 

There are so many ANGRY people in the world today who have huge authority figure problems. Pastors often become punching bags for people with unrealistic expectations & outlets for their previous baggage with authority in their lives.

Unfortuantely, trust is the very hardest thing to earn in people today.  And some of that is not surprising with all the negative press that clergy & church receives from the media.  It is the biggest challenge I continually find with people.  I want so badly to EARN their trust.  I want so much for them to truly SEE Christ living in me, so that it is truly CHRIST that gets all the GLORY for what He's doing in my life.

Yet, the bottom line is that people who've been hurt in the past by the church or by parental figures have a hard time accepting the fact that my / our motive to reach out to them truly is LOVE!  The truth is, hurting people, hurt people.  Nothing breaks my heart more than when people question my motives for what I do. 

My goal in life is to LOVE as many people into the Kingdom of God as I possibly can. I've learned that loving others is very risky business.  People will question & attack your motives.  People will become very angry when you disagree with them & often attack you for speaking truth in love to them.  It's definitely not the easy road.  But I thank God for the road that He's called me to walk.  I've learned so much about myself & I've grown so much from the experience!

Through it all, I've learned to walk by faith, and not by sight.  I've learned that following Christ is not always popular, but it is always RIGHT!  I've learned the way to incredible peace is doing what Christ would want me to do, regardless of whatever cost it may bring in the moment.  I've learned that loving others can hurt sometimes & I expect to get hurt again and again in this life.  Because I won't ever stop taking the risk.  I won't ever stop following Christ in loving & serving others with all my heart.  I know that loving God means I MUST continue to love others & reach out to hurting people! It can get messy, but this is a spiritual war after all.

I pray continually for God to guard my heart.  I know what burns pastors out.  I know what wrecks them out of the ministry. The same thing that wrecks everyone.  It's bitterness.  It's anger.  It's unforgiveness.  It's not enough of giving up of one's life for the sake of Christ!  It really isn't about us.  It's not about me.  It's got to always, continually be about SERVING CHRIST, no matter what the cost to us personally!

Friends, please pray for your pastors!  Support and encourage them.  They are on the frontlines for you doing battle day and night!  If you hold any anger towards a past pastor, let it go.  Give it to God.  Forgive him or her because you have never walked in their shoes.  You have no idea what they have been through.  No matter what you think they did, you need to give them GRACE!

When I became a senior pastor, the first thing I felt led to do was to ask God's forgiveness for anything I had ever said or thought about a senior pastor in the past.  We need your help, we need your love & grace & forgiveness.  Many pastors have fallen because they just got so beat up & weary.  Let's all make sure that we are not a cause for that happening to others.

One of the greatest blessings that happened for BHCC in 2006 is the formation of the LEAD TEAM.  I feel SO BLESSED to serve side-by-side with these people.  I will submit myself to them at any point needed.  It's a privilidge to submit yourself to people you trust.  There is incredible love & UNTIY of CHRIST with the pastors & lead team.

God has built & continues to build an incredibly Christ centered foundation at BHCC.  We are a very healthy church & that's the most important thing for our present & our future.  We continue to grow in solid & healthy ways!

We'll always have some people who will come and go at our church.  There are many people these days who are 'church hoppers.'  People come to our church for all different reasons.  Some have motives that are not honoring to God.  Some just aren't ready to commit themselves to Christ.  Some just aren't a good match for the vision God has for BHCC.  It always grieves my heart to see people leave. 

I become quickly attached to people & wish some would just give us more time to earn their trust. But we've also seen many people come back after being away for a bit and I expect to see more of that.  After all, BHCC is one of a kind!  :-)

But ultimately, I know that God will continue to build BHCC according to His plan.  We are so blessed to have a loving, wonderful family here & honestly, I feel sorry for people who don't have a church family like ours.  I've been around many churches for many years & I KNOW how rare & special is what we have at BHCC!

Well, that was a long rant---HA!  Guess we pastors can be long-winded at times, eh?  HA!  Let's all keep our eyes on CHRIST now........He is the author and finisher of our faith & He is the HEAD of Blesssed Hope Community Church!  I can't wait to welcome more family members HOME to BHCC!

Because HE LIVES,

Lin

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